Capturing It All

Two years ago, I started a blog. I didn’t tell anyone, and I tried not to make a fuss of it, thinking that if I kept it to myself there was less of a chance of failing. And by failing, I mean less chance that people would know I didn’t follow through with something. Again! I didn’t know what the purpose of the blog would be. I thought I could use it to explore experiences and resources with my profession or use it as a sort of life journal. In hindsight, I see that I was seeking a way to capture time. I was newly married, newly employed and beginning to feel like somewhat of an adult. It was such an exciting time of life!  But I could feel time going too quickly and knew that I would look back one day and yearn for those first years of marriage, that little bungalow on Bellvue Avenue, our dog Lili, and those small everyday moments that eventually add up to the big picture.  

I spit out 2 or 3 posts and that was that. (sigh) I certainly didn’t capture it the way I had hoped. 

Fast forward two years and as predicted, I yearn for that special season of life. Since then, we’ve learned more about each other. We’ve moved. We’ve traveled a bit more. We’ve (sadly) gotten less enamored with Lili. And most life altering, we’ve had a baby.

A precious little baby girl entered our world and has completely changed us forever. And here I am again, watching life go by too quickly. I actively try to savor moments/smells/sounds and sights…repeating to myself “remember this”, but it’s like trying to hold water in the palm of your hands. No matter how hard you try, it just trickles through.

So since I can’t make time stop, and since I don’t have a shot at time travel, I’m giving the online journal thing a go…. again. I want to have some sort of chronicle for our family. I want my kids to have something to look back on that gives them a glimpse into our everyday lives together, the choices we made, the people we were, the love we shared.  I want to capture it all so that when my youth has faded away and I’m no longer neck deep in new motherhood bliss, I can look back and know that I did what I could to live in the moment, create memories, and savor the small things.  Yes, I want to make time stop. I want to capture it all. But since it simply isn’t possible, I’ll take control where I can. And I’m starting with this post.